Good Manners Spoken Here

(Pic:) Rebecca with "Rocky" during a water rescue training exercise at Silverwoods Lake, California. Rocky is the personal service dog of the CEO of Seizure Alert Dogs for Life, Inc.

Human beings mean well.

After all, we are the warm-hearted adopters of our canine friends. We take these shedding, drooling, food-inhaling, poop-producing, vet-bill-inducing creatures into our homes, expecting nothing in return except love.

And oh, yeah, good manners.

So we try and elicit acceptable behavior from our dogs, employing a variety of methods, some creative, some desperate, nearly all fruitless. Here are some examples:

Yelling “NO! NO! NO!” or possibly “BAILEY! BAILEY! BAILEY!”

Dog response: “Hey! Quit barking! You’re extremely loud and incredibly close.”

Putting the dog in “Time-Out” – usually in its crate

Dog response: “Okay, I’m confused. Is my crate a good place to go, or a bad one?”

Grabbing the dog’s collar

Dog response: “Obviously, only you are capable of controlling me. However, as soon as you let go, I’m outa here!”

Reasoning with the dog, explaining why the behavior is not appreciated

Dog response: “Huh? No comprende. I see your lips moving, though.”

Ignoring the dog, hoping the behavior will magically disappear

Dog response: “I’ll just keep doing this until I run out of steam. It’s fun and releases some of my boundless energy. Plus, no one objects. Cool!”

Imagine what an interesting conversation we can have – and what good manners we can negotiate – with our dogs if we understand and communicate in each others’ language.

Rachel Baum contributed to this article.